reason to be thankful
Catskills Mountain, New York
i may be thrown into blogging hell for committing the biggest no-no social media faux-pas: posting about a holiday that was nine days ago. to be honest, i don’t actually care and instead, have come to terms with my slow-pokeynes. i do wish though that i were the type of person who can process thoughts about a thanksgiving in advance and share in due time.
a little before thanksgiving this year, i reflected on some of the important areas of my life and i concluded that everything was mostly perfect. my parents and family are in great health, my relationship with close friends are growing stronger, i’m living in paris, i have somewhere to call home, and can say that i went somewhere in my professional career. i am super grateful for these things because i know that any day, one of these areas can start to fall apart, and i’d have to face the fragility and challenges of life.
i should feel light as air and be taking more time appreciating the things in my life that are thriving, but i couldn’t help stare into the abyss of my existential crisis. i’ll admit it, it’s a bit masochistic, and it’s almost like intentionally pushing yourself off a cliff into the land of a hardcore meltdown. my advice to you is to not do this on a long flight from cdg to jfk, you’ll cry your eyeballs dry leaving your stranger seatmate very uncomfortable.
i felt like my passion and energy was running thin. i couldn’t find a trace of leading myself to the light at the end of the tunnel. where is all of this leading to? i closed my eyes and thought about what i could possibly ask for in prayer, but in actuality just wanted him to make this easy for me by coming down on a chariot of fire and releasing the weight off my shoulders. that didn’t happen so i asked for a single sign of that validated that i was channeling my heart and effort in the right way.
okay if not the chariot of fire, how about having this sign fall from the sky like manna? not quite, but his answer did come in a few unexpected ways. a few weeks later, i received a message from a reader of this blog (i have a reader?!) who was new to cooking and took shot and used one of my recipes. she made beautiful madeleines and even sent me a pic. you know who you are, and to me, you were literally godsend.
and the following day, dear saturdays got its first paycheck.
while i’m so deeply grateful that i was able to help someone make madeleines and my actual passion in life made money, more than anything else, the perfect timing of these two occurrences is what i’m most appreciative of. these two things could have happened in any point of time, but it happened in perfect sequence and that to me, is god’s way of showing me that he is writing a beautiful story out our lives however impatient i may be. how could i not be thankful?
lastly, this blog has little stats that i can follow (the analyst in me can’t help herself), and i discovered that there are people all around not only the country, but also the world who are taking the time to read this blog! first off, who reads nowadays?! but in all seriousness, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking time out of your day to following along thIS dear saturdays adventure.
i’m clearly feeling a lot of warm and sweet custardy feelings which is the best segue into this eggy dan tat pie recipe!