drag self through dirt before frolicking in fields of lavender or bushels of hay
upon arrival in the valensole region of provence, i laughed so hard that i nearly collapsed and died right in front of our airbnb hosts. what was so funny you ask? um my major failure a-double-s self.
the day started in the french riveria, nice for specifics. it was a slow and easy morning. i even stopped to take a selfie in the elevator mirror on our way down to brunch. we walked to the main street where we parked our rental car the night before only to find that there were no cars. obviously, the streets looked alike so we must have been mistaken. "but this is where we dropped a pin on google maps!". it definitely was a bug in the app.
we walked to one street up and back a few streets down, and noticed that there were no cars on any of these streets. i walked into the bakery we swore we parked in front of and busted out my level 1 french in sheer panic "OU EST MA VOIAATURE??". the shop lady understood what i said (thankfully) and started waving her hands while using french vocabulary that was level 20 that was way too fast for me to even attempt to follow along. in these situations, my flight mechanisms kick in and counters with "JE PARLE EN PEU FRANCAIS". she wrote down a phone number on a piece of paper, i thanked god that numbers need no translation.
i called the number and the operator provided the address to where our car had been towed to. we tried to hail a taxi outside, but oddly enough, a taxi was nowhere to be found. so we trekked back to the bakery and asked the shop lady for one more favor: to call us a taxi. while we waited, i picked up a few mini pain-au-raisins and secret sidenote, i could care less about the car-less woes for a hot minute because i had some damn deliciousness in my mouth.
the dispatched taxi arrived, and my first thought was: how far is this place and how much is this going to cost us? i asked the driver and he said around 60 euros. "oh hail no" was my second thought so my flight instincts kicked in again and this time, made up a white lie to tell the driver that i confused and needed to get out of the car ASAP. he slammed the brakes, and demanded that we pay 10 euros..mais merci non merci. want us to pay you for driving like 1/2 block?
then andrew said words that made my heart sink into my stomach: "my wifi just got disconnected". i checked my dress pockets because that had been the nest for our rented travel mifi. i checked my purse, it wasn't there either T_T. it must've slipped out when the driver slammed those brakes.
we were now rental car-less and rental mifi-less. even if we were to get the car back, how were we going to navigate the rest of the road trip?! *panics*
long story short, our airbnb host was a magician. he tracked down the exact taxi by calling the dispatcher (who knew the dispatcher keeps a log of all calls, drivers, and locations?!), drove us to the police station to pay for our parking ticket, coordinated with the taxi driver to meet up at a gas station to retrieve the mifi, drove us to the tow yard, and even rear ended a car in this process but i won't go into details about this ordeal. the airbnb host, andrew, and i high fived and jumped up and down like giddy children in the middle of the tow yard. honestly, who gets into deep puup like this and bounces back in one whole piece? HECK YA WE DID!
off we went to valensole to what we defined would be our trip highlight: seeing those magical rows of deep purple lavender fields we all had on our microsoft desktop background circa 2001 but this time, IRL. two and a half hours later, we arrived at our airbnb and our couple host greeted us out front and showed us their fields. i asked them where the lavender fields were and he said...that the season is peaking late this year.
AAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA. WHY YES OF COURSE....