dear saturdays, dear brooklyn.
a few friends asked have asked what dear saturdays and dear brooklyn means, so here it is!
throwing it back, like a year and a half back, i was stuck in a pretty tough season where i would wallow in a deep miserable pit, melodramatically crying out to God and asking him a bunch of angry "why" questions every time we talked. i couldn't find the point or any reason as to what i was doing with my life. i wanted to know why i was living alone and thousands of miles away from my family or why i kept over indexing on the time and care i put into my job and what it was all adding up to or why the breakup from my 4 year relationship so incredibly difficult to deal with. if you cracked open my brain at any given point during that time, you'd see a gigantic scrolling marquee with: "God, whyyyyyyyyyy...what is the point of all of this? i'm going to lose it."
earlier this year (while i was still unable to process what was going on in my life), i heard the exact words that i needed to hear. those words came in form of a sermon at church, and i was reminded of the worst and unjust suffering that anyone on this earth had to endure. this suffering happened on a friday, and full deliverance come around on a sunday. the pastor pointed out that in the timeline of the resurrection, we oftentimes tend to neglect saturday since nothing significant happens - but that this day is so crucial as it bridges the days of suffering to the days of restoration. these days were planned with full intention and however uncomfortable and ambiguous the days in this season can become, we should feel challenged to sit in stillness, aka be patient.
while the suffering and burden that Jesus endured puts my quarter-life crises to shame, i still feel a big punch to my gut when i have to think about being sooooo far from family or the pressure that comes from not knowing what i'll be doing next in my life or where i'll be next. my impatience still burns me to my core, but i have to remind myself that this is the "saturday" of my early adulthood. things are getting better, and i'm undoubtedly seeing how He is revealing His heart, while tempering mine, in the most unexpected ways here in brooklyn.
i'm learning that the answers don't find their way in one big momentous wave, but rather in the quietest and smallest moments. taking the same path to work every day and being able to find wonder in the beauty each new season brings, feeling the joy and satisfaction from creating in my kitchen, and having a lot of space for solitude all makes it seem like i was meant to be here at this time of my life.
all dear saturdays and dear brooklyn really is, is learning and sharing the ways to navigate this season of my life.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.